Well here I am, 15 weeks and 2 days pregnant and feeling just about brave enough to begin this blog.
My name is Becky and this is my second pregnancy. My first pregnancy was nearly 10 years ago which brought us our wonderful daughter Ruby who is currently 9 and extremely excited at the news of becoming a big sister.
I want to keep this blog real and honest, I don't want to sugar coat anything and I want to use this to document this pregnancy in all its glory. My main reason for this blog is because this pregnancy began with a massive dose of shock, quickly followed by uncertainty and fear. For the 8 weeks leading up to my 12 week mark I failed to remain positive and was constantly afraid that my pregnancy was coming to an end - sounds quite dramatic I know but during this time I was regularly spotting which sometimes led to bleeds and although we has two scans, at 6 weeks and 7 weeks 4 days, it was very hard for me to believe that it would be ok.
I think one thing that became very frustrating for me was that I could not get any answers, I quote the sonogram technician who said "we can see a heartbeat - that's all we care about" I do think she meant this as a comfort but at the time it didn't feel like that, it left me feeling like I had no control, no further understanding of what my body was doing and why, which felt very hard for me to accept.
My last spotting and bleed was at 14 weeks but this time I had the comfort of my doppler to put my mind at rest and I had also felt some flutters which I new were from the baby. I realised just how my mindset had changed from previous episodes and that I could see my positivity growing and even though I may have it again over the duration of this pregnancy, I feel able to deal with it better as I move forward.
So now its a time for me to relax and go with it day by day, I want to enjoy the moments, share the fears and most of all embrace in this wonderful experience and chance we have to grow our family from three to four.
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